Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
