The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
