i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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