So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
