When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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