He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
