You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
