Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
