Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
