Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
