i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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