This girl is more easily done than said...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
