Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
