My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
