i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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