the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Terrible idea I love it
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
