I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
