I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
