Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
