sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
