You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
