I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
