I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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