Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
