I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
