I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
