do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
