Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
