The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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