she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
