The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
