the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
