doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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