fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
