is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
