the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
