Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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