So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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