put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
