I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
