Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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