Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
