check it out our google latitudes are spooning
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
