he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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