I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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