don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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