weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
