dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
