we're blogging at a bar
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
