can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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